Allow a brief moment of generalization for me to say, vegetarians annoy me. More particularily the elitist variety. You've all met one at least once in your life. The kind that consider themselves ethically superior to you just because they think animals are cute. Heh, I think animals are cute....right next to my baked potato. All you want to do is order a steak and you gotta deal with the Bambi lecture....which incidentally is making you really hungry. Yeah, we're all going to hell for eating animal flesh, now can you tell the waiter that I want it medium well??

Even if you don't have to deal with the moral crusader variety you still gotta deal with the extra hour of searching for a restaurant that caters to their morally superior palate. Nevermind that most of those items are designed to look and taste like meat. If eating meat is so gross, then why do you want to eat a veggie burger?? Just order a salad and be done with it!

So yeah, vegetarians annoy me. Vegans REALLY annoy me. I heard today was officially "Eat a Tasty Animal for PETA Day", thanks PETA...I think I will! Here's an idea...

Eat double the meat you normally would, to make up for what vegetarians aren't eating. They aren't pulling their weight. It's up to you. Cut back on the greens if you have to. After all, they are covering that part for you. And what did that plant ever do to you? Nobody's ancestor was ever killed by a tomato plant.

If you really want to be efficient, eat two different types of meat just to ensure you aren't just eating more of the same animal. If you are only offered one type, be creative. I suggest visiting your local zoo and making your own buffet. I would venture to say that an endangered species counts as double, but let your taste buds be your guide.

Now I know some of you may be worried about the health effects of all this meat. Exercise is one way to deal with that. I'd like to point out that chopping down a tree provides a great work out and, the bigger the tree, the bigger the workout!

So now go out and change the world for the better, armed only with a knife in one hand and barbecue sauce in the other.

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