Sarcastics Anonymous

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.   

2.  Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

3. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

4. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

5. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

6. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

8. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

9. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

10.  Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

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